I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
