do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
