Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
