I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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