I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
