Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm bleeding and have questions
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
