Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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