When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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