you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
