We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
