Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
