can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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