Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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