i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
