It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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