is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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