are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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