Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
