My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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