I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I need to stop coming to work sober
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize