FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
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he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
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The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
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