Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
