Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
