six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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