I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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