No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
