I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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