i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
