Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
