After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
