i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Success! We fucked roommates!
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize