i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
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get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
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Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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