I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
