He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
