When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
