this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
