I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
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i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
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Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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