One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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