i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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