And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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