did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
