Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
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