u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
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I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
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If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐