Texts From Last Night

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  (949): View more from California

  She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.

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  (949): She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree. http://tfl.nu/gm08
  Replies (3) Good night (1293) Bad night (487)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.

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  (314): I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket. http://tfl.nu/jhbx
  Replies (10) Good night (1131) Bad night (588)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.

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  (856): You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am. http://tfl.nu/u2qi
  Replies (14) Good night (1405) Bad night (5854)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."

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  (513): she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it." http://tfl.nu/fqo2
  Replies (11) Good night (5975) Bad night (1243)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"

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  (267): she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it" http://tfl.nu/pya0
  Replies (46) Good night (1923) Bad night (9520)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand

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  (207): you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand http://tfl.nu/om9i
  Replies (8) Good night (4652) Bad night (1160)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!

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  (+61): She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?! http://tfl.nu/x2ya
  Replies (14) Good night (1041) Bad night (4123)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you

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  (+44): You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you http://tfl.nu/o2s0
  Replies (10) Good night (1592) Bad night (3450)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.

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  (516): Never again will we have slut saturday. Never. http://tfl.nu/croh
  Replies (13) Good night (6253) Bad night (1618)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.

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  (513): I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago. http://tfl.nu/r6f0
  Replies (7) Good night (2266) Bad night (670)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?

  (1-319): View more from Iowa

  Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.

  (319): View more from Iowa

  Thanks bro

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  (319): Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement? (1-319): Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice. (319): Thanks bro http://tfl.nu/7e10
  Replies (9) Good night (918) Bad night (1631)
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  (714): View more from California

  So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.

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  (714): So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions. http://tfl.nu/jiu6
  Replies (5) Good night (1843) Bad night (457)
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  (585): View more from New York

  The uberlube is also flammable

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  (585): The uberlube is also flammable http://tfl.nu/uc5d
  Replies (4) Good night (253) Bad night (354)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.

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  (904): Im wearing a bra. Made of paint. http://tfl.nu/e0s1
  Replies (6) Good night (878) Bad night (206)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.

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  (970): I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more. http://tfl.nu/g8n9
  Replies (1) Good night (1033) Bad night (222)

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