its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
