Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
