i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize