you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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