i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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