I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize