youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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