I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
thus making me awesome and them whores
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
