You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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