the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
