I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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