official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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