There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
