you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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