A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
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he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
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did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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