my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
