New invention idea: vibrating tampons
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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