I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Randomize
