I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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