He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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