That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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