a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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