So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
