do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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