she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
You've changed since you got that strap on
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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